SUMMARY: On Janeway's birthday, the crew decides to tell her what she means to them.

CODES: VOY, P/T, J/C

RATING: PG13

DISCLAIMER: The toy box and everything within belong to Paramount, and I'm just a child at heart who is merely borrowing their toys to play with for awhile. I promise to return them when I'm done.

NOTES: none

"What Captain Janeway Means to Me"
by Liz VanZandt

"I don't know, I'm totally out of ideas," Tom Paris shrugged, slumping back in his chair. He was sitting at a table with several of his fellow officers, trying to decide on a birthday present for the captain.

"I suppose we could give her a voucher for time off that could be redeemed whenever she wants," Harry Kim suggested.

"We did that last Christmas," Tom grumped.

"What about extra replicator rations?" Neelix suggested. "She could use them for coffee."

"Her birthday two years ago," Tom said.

"Well if you don't like any of our ideas, why don't you come up with something yourself," Harry suggested moodily.

"I told you, Harry," Tom said, leaning forward on his elbows. "I'm out of ideas. We've already used the good ones."

"Tom's right, it has to be something unique," B'Elanna Torres said. "Something that says 'We're glad you're our captain.'"

"That's easier said than done," Neelix observed. "How about we design a holodeck program for her?"

"No," Tom and Harry snapped in unison.

"This is impossible," Harry whined, standing up and resuming the pacing he'd been forced to quit earlier.

"Maybe we're going about this the wrong way," B'Elanna said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Tom asked.

She leaned forward, growing more excited by the second as a plan took shape in her mind. "What if instead of getting her something, we did something for her?"

"We do stuff for her all the time," Neelix said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, and she does all kinds of things for us as well. But when was the last time we said thank you, or told her how much we appreciate her."

"B'Elanna, I pulled a double shift today and I'm a bit tired," Tom complained. "Would you please just spit it out?"

"Janeway keeps saying every year that she doesn't want us to make a big deal about her birthday. So instead of getting her a bunch of useless gifts--"

"That statue of Kirk I got her last Christmas was not useless," Tom protested.

B'Elanna ignored him. "Instead, we get the whole crew to write a short paragraph or two on what Janeway means to them, why they admire her so much."

Tom raised an eyebrow in doubt. "We'd never be able to get the whole crew to agree to that. And even if we did, we'd never be able to keep it from her for a whole week."

"I don't know, Tom," Harry said. "I think the idea has merit. I'm sure if we can't think of a present, then everyone else is having trouble thinking of one too."

"I think it's a wonderful idea," Neelix agreed. "The Captain is sure to love it."

"Come on, Tom, it takes five minutes."

He sighed, pushing himself out of his chair. "If you three can get everyone to agree to this crazy idea, then I'll throw my hat in the ring too. But don't expect me to help recruit people for this half-ass plan of yours."

"Don't worry," B'Elanna replied. "I'll take care of everything."

* * *

"Well, shall we get down to business," Kathryn Janeway said, sitting down at the head of the table. Around her, the senior staff was gathered for the daily briefing.

"Well, um, actually, Captain," Tom stuttered, shifting nervously in his seat, "we have something for you first, in honor of your birthday and all."

Janeway hung her head in a disappointed gesture. "I thought I told all of you not to get me anything."

"And we didn't," B'Elanna replied quickly. "Instead, we all decided to take a few minutes and reflect on what you mean to us."

"In fact," Neelix interrupted, "there should be roughly a hundred and forty similar messages being delivered to your computer in your quarters right about now."

Janeway sent him a curious frown. "I don't suppose you'd care to expand on that idea a little, Neelix."

Across the table, B'Elanna cleared her throat, pulling everyone's attention to her. "Maybe I should explain, Captain, since it was my idea to begin with."

"Please do, Lieutenant. The thought of wading through a hundred and forty messages is not very appealing."

"I think you may change your mind about that, Captain. See, I thought it would be a really nice idea if the whole crew were to write a short paragraph or two about what you mean to us, or why it is we admire and respect you so much. Just a quick moment of contemplation." Janeway's eyebrows rose in curiosity. "Because we the senior staff are closest to you, we agreed that it was a good idea for us to personally share our thoughts with you. Hopefully after one or two you'll get the idea."

Janeway sat back in her chair, blinking several times as she digested the engineer's words. "All right, Lieutenant. Since you've obviously put a lot of thought into this, I'm willing to listen."

B'Elanna breathed a silent sigh of relief. "All right, um, I think we decided Tuvok would be first."

"Very well," the Vulcan nodded. He turned slightly so he was facing the captain. "I have known you for many years now, Captain, and in that time you have impressed me as a very logical person. However, you still manage to maintain a certain emotional level at the same time. While you occasionally let your emotions cloud your judgment, you have learned to use your emotions to your advantage as well. Your faith, determination and stubborn nature will no doubt prove to be the determining factor in this crew's eventual success. And though you, like every person, have your faults, I believe you qualify as the most complete captain I have had the privilege to serve under in my many years in Starfleet."

Janeway stared at her old friend for several seconds. "Thank you, Tuvok. That is indeed a lofty compliment."

Tuvok dipped his head in silent acknowledgment before turning to his left. "Mr. Neelix?"

The Talaxian next to him jumped, his back going straight in his chair. "Yes, of course." He grabbed the PADD laying on the table in front of him, flipping it on. "Well, this may not seem like much to most people, but the first thing I think of when someone mentions Captain Janeway is her smile. Almost any time of day she has a smile and a kind word to pass on. For someone who sees more than his fair share of complaints on a daily basis, I can't begin to tell you how much one smile can brighten your day. And no matter how bad my latest attempt at coffee may be, Captain Janeway has been there to offer a suggestion on how to improve it. From the moment I came aboard Voyager six years ago, she's been nothing but kind and supportive of both Kes and I. I don't think I could ever fully show my gratitude for giving me the opportunity to join this wonderful crew, but you can be sure I'm going to continue to try."

He looked up from his PADD to see the captain smiling at him. "I'm glad something as small as a simple smile can have such an impact on your day, Neelix," she said. "I'll keep that in mind in the future."

Next to Neelix, the EMH cleared his throat. Janeway looked over at him, "I take it you're next, Doctor."

"Quite right, Captain," he nodded. "Captain Janeway certainly does not qualify as my best patient; in fact, she is the only crew member who has yet to come in for any of her yearly physicals. And she has possibly the worst disregard for her health of anyone I've ever met." At the head of the table, Chakotay attempted to cover his grin with his hand, glancing over at the captain quickly. He had fought with her over taking time off more than once. "But just because she doesn't care for her own well-being does not mean she doesn't care for those around her. She is often the first person in Sickbay, besides myself of course, whenever a crewmember is injured, and more often than not spends hours on end waiting with baited breath for my diagnosis. Though she leaves much to be desired when it comes to her own health, the compassion Captain Janeway has shown for this crew is absolutely remarkable."

"I wouldn't go so far as to call it remarkable, Doctor," she said. "Everyone here has shown the same level of compassion at some time or another."

"And she's so humble as well," the Doctor added, sarcastically.

Around the table, the officers chuckled.

"I believe I'm next," Tom announced, picking up a PADD from the table. "This may seem a bit cliché, but Captain Janeway is the reason I'm sitting here today. She gave me a chance when no one else would; she believes that it's possible for a good person to make a bad mistake. I know I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I've paid for all of them. Captain Janeway realizes that and is willing to look beyond my past indiscretions and let me prove that I am someone that can be trusted. I know I'll never be the perfect officer, but then, I don't think Captain Janeway would want that anyway. All I can try to do is be me and let everything else sort itself out. If I can do that, then I know I've fulfilled my end of the bargain and I haven't let the Captain's faith in me be in vain."

"You've come a long way, Tom," she smiled at him. "You did most of it yourself, all I did was give you a chance. Your father would be proud."

"Maybe," he agreed reluctantly, "but if there's one thing I've learned out here it's that the only opinion that counts is my own."

"You're a good man, Tom," Janeway said.

Tom blushed at her compliment. "I think B'Elanna's next."

The half-Klingon engineer shifted slightly in her seat as Janeway's gaze turned to her. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she jumped in. "My first encounter with Captain Janeway wasn't exactly cordial. Forget the fact that she was originally sent to arrest us, the crazy woman was about to destroy our only way home in favor of saving some alien species we'd just met. Needless to say, I wasn't too happy with her, but as Chakotay reminded me, she was the captain. Over the next few months, she impressed me by not only accepting us as part of her crew, but by awarding me with the title of chief engineer. Since then, we haven't always seen eye to eye on things, but she has earned my respect, albeit grudgingly on my part.

"Looking back over the past six years and everything we've been through, I now realize just how wrong my first impression was. While it didn't seem like it at the time, destroying the Caretaker's array was probably the best thing Captain Janeway could have done. Sure, we've all lost a lot because of it, but at the same time, we've gained so much more." She looked over at Neelix, "I'd never have met Neelix or Kes," her eyes flitted over to Harry, "never gotten to know Harry," she paused, turning to look at Tom next to her, and he took her hand in his, giving it an encouraging squeeze, "never been given a chance to fall in love. Maybe wisdom really does come with age, or maybe it's just that hindsight is twenty-twenty, but whatever the case, I'm really glad that I got stuck out here with Captain Janeway and not someone else."

The lump in her throat was preventing Janeway from responding, and Harry gratefully saved her. "I guess it's my turn." He sat forward in his seat, flipping on the PADD before him and clearing his throat. "Unlike Tom, Captain Janeway hasn't necessarily given me a second chance at life, but rather a first chance. When I came aboard Voyager six years ago I was green, I'll be the first to admit that. I was fresh out of the Academy and, as Tom can attest, I didn't even know how to deal with a Ferengi. Slowly but surely, under the guiding influence of Captain Janeway, I've done a lot of growing up. I think my parents would be very pleased with how much I've changed since I saw them last, and I sometimes have to wonder if I haven't learned more from our time in the Delta Quadrant than I did in all my years at home. Even though I probably would have made lieutenant years ago had we not come across the Caretaker, I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade my position on Voyager for anything, even with everything that's happened to us out here."

"I'm sure your parents would be very proud, Harry," Janeway replied, blinking back the tears forming in her eyes. "I only wish they could be here to see what a wonderful person you've become."

"They'll get to see me someday, Captain," he said. "I'm sure of it."

"I know they will, Harry," she agreed. "I take it Seven is next?"

The Borg nodded. "I must admit that when Lieutenant Torres first approached me with the idea of listing our thoughts about Captain Janeway, I did not see the relevance. However, upon seeing your reaction, I believe I now understand.

"Since I came aboard Voyager, you have endeavored to make me more human. While the Doctor and Ensign Kim have provided much help towards those ends, no one aboard has provided as much assistance as you have, Captain. I am aware that I have not been the easiest person to deal with at times, and yet you have not stopped caring about my progress. In fact, more often than not, it has been your more subtle actions, such as today, that have provided me with more insight into humanity than anything else. Though I have never said so in the past, I do appreciate your help and look forward to what I have yet to learn."

"I'm glad, Seven, you've been a wonderful addition to the crew," Janeway said. "All of you have. I cannot tell you how touched I am right now. It's not everyday you hear just how much of an impact you've had on the people around you. I would have to say that this is indeed the best present I've gotten since I turned ten and my father took me for my first shuttle ride."

Across the table, Harry, Tom and B'Elanna exchanged a glance. "Uh, Captain," Harry finally said, "I think you're forgetting someone."

She frowned looking around the table. "Who?"

"Chakotay," Tom said, nodding at the first officer.

Janeway's head snapped over to the dark man sitting next to her. "You were in on this as well?"

He gave a short laugh at her amazement. "Yes, everyone was."

"Just a minute," she abruptly stood up, striding over to the replicator on the wall. She returned to the table a minute later with a box of tissues that she set down in the middle of the table. Grabbing a handful, she sat back down in her chair. "I know you too well, Chakotay. I have a feeling I'm going to need a lot of these by the time you're done."

Chakotay smiled slightly, looking down at his hands as he collected his thoughts. Unlike the others, he'd decided not to write his thoughts down beforehand, but instead to just make them up as he went along. Taking a deep breath, he looked up. "As you can no doubt tell, there are a lot of things about you to love. Your logic, your smile, your compassion, your faith in others, your intelligence, your humanity and willingness to help others ..." as he talked, his eyes drifted around the table from person to person, finally coming to rest on Janeway. "I'm sure we could all go on for hours extolling your virtues, Kathryn. But the remarkable thing about you is that you're not just these things, you're all of them. As Tuvok pointed out, you're the complete package. That's not to say you're perfect; like any of us, you have your faults, but, like you, we can overlook those faults. You give this ship and crew your complete love and devotion all the time. You continually sacrifice so that we can benefit.

"From the very beginning, you've been just what this crew needed, when we needed it. A leader, a friend, a confidante, a surrogate mother, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or just an extra hand in engineering ... you've stood up to the Kazon, brought us past the Vidiians, conquered the devil, defeated the Borg, negotiated with the Hirogen, saved countless species in between and still managed to find time to play with Naomi Wildman. You're something different to every single person on the ship, but the fact remains that you've always gone out of your way to unite this crew and to foster an amazing sense of community, even when conditions were less than perfect.

"Who is Kathryn Janeway to me? She's someone I respect, someone I look up to, someone I admire, someone I care about very much, and above all else, someone I am very proud to call my friend."

The room was silent for several moments as everyone digested Chakotay's words. A sniffle came from someone at the other end of the table, and a speckled hand reached out to grab a tissue from the box sitting on the table.

"You amaze me more every single day, Chakotay," Janeway finally managed. He looked blurry because of the tears in her eyes, and she hoped the quiver in her voice wasn't too noticeable.

"No, you amaze us, Kathryn," he replied sincerely.

From across the table, Tom cleared his throat, standing up. "Well then, I have to be getting back to my station. Courses to plot, things to do, people to annoy and all that rot," he said. He quickly gave B'Elanna a swift kick under the table.

She jumped, frowning at her boyfriend until his intent dawned on her. "I suppose I should be getting back to Engineering as well," she said. "Happy birthday, Captain."

"Thank you, B'Elanna," Janeway smiled, tearing her gaze away from Chakotay.

The other officers echoed B'Elanna as they filed out of the room. Neelix paused by the door. "Captain, the crew is having a party tonight on the holodeck. It's nothing formal and you don't have to come or anything, but I'm sure the crew would love to see you."

"I'd love to, Neelix," she replied.

Grinning from ear to ear, Neelix bustled out of the room, leaving just the two commanding officers, still sitting at the head of the table.

"That was quite possibly the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you," Janeway asked, breaking the silence that had engulfed them. "But how did you ever manage to get everyone to agree to that?"

"Don't look at me," Chakotay shook his head. "This whole thing was B'Elanna's idea; I had nothing to do with it. She just came to me last week and told me to write something."

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "B'Elanna? Our B'Elanna?"

"The very same," he nodded. "Though it may not seem like it at times, you've had as much of an impact on B'Elanna as you have on Tom and Harry, and even Seven."

Kathryn let out a muffled sob, swiping at her eyes with a tissue. She let out a wry laugh, "Look at me, I'm sitting here bawling like a baby."

He smiled. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you can actually produce tears."

"Very funny," she replied.

Chakotay chuckled, looking over at the chronometer. "I think Tuvok has things under control up here, so what do you say I treat you to a special birthday dinner."

"What's on the menu?"

"Well, I was thinking vegetarian lasagna, a Caesar salad and some of Neelix's Borga rolls on the side, with a bowl of coffee flavor ice cream for dessert."

"Sounds wonderful," she replied. "As long as you're sure Neelix doesn't have something special planned already."

"Only your party tonight," he said, holding out his arm. "Come on, I'll walk you back to your quarters so you can start reading some of the crew's messages."

* * *

The Doctor stood up, tapping a knife against his glass. "A toast," he held up his glass, glancing around Sandrine's at the crew assembled there. Around him at his table were most of the senior staff, including the guest of honor, Kathryn Janeway. "To the Captain, may the next six years together be as wonderful as our first six. And may she come in for at least one checkup in that time."

Laughing, everyone echoed his sentiments, raising their glasses to her. "To the Captain."

"Speech, speech," Tom yelled, and was joined by Harry a moment later.

Smiling sheepishly, she glanced over at Chakotay, who nodded his encouragement. Shaking her head, Janeway stood up, and around her the room quieted. "I think all of you have made more than enough marvelous speeches for one day, and whatever I could say would pale in comparison to those. But I do owe all of you a tremendous thank you. Without all of you, I could never have accomplish half of what I've done on Voyager. And today you reminded me that the true purpose of birthdays is not to remind us that another year has gone by ... but to look back on the past year and see how far we've come, how much we've changed."

She looked around the room, meeting the eyes of as many people as she could. Her gaze paused on some of them for several seconds longer than the others. Her old friend and faithful companion, Tuvok; Neelix, who reminded her of a puppy dog with his daily enthusiasm and blind devotion; Doc, the caustic hologram who'd expanded his programming to become so much more; Tom, the ex-con who proved her belief in second chances on a daily basis; B'Elanna, once angry and combative with everyone around her, now budding into a wonderful officer and person; Harry, no longer the callow young ensign assigned to his first ship; Seven, who'd come so far from the Borg that had joined them three years earlier; and Chakotay, so kind, supportive and loving, even after they'd been through so much. There really was no way she could have made it through the past six years without any of them.

"Thank you, all of you," she said finally, swallowing the lump in her throat. She raised her glass toward them, "To this crew, the best damn crew a captain could ask for. May the rest of our journey be as enjoyable as the beginning."

Taking a sip of her drink, she turned to sit down, stopping in mid-motion. "Oh, and Doctor," she turned to look at the hologram, "I promise to try and make it in next year."

The End

Back to my homepage
Back to Voyager stories