SUMMARY: Bridger gets conked on the head and develops amnesia. How does everyone around him react?
CODES: SQ, B/W
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Amblin, as always, owns rights, I'm just borrowing characters.
NOTES: For those curious people, the quote is from the end of Bridge Over San Luis Rey by Thorton Wilder.
"The Table of my Memory"
by Liz VanZandt
Nathan Bridger opened his eyes to the sound of his PAL beeping. He leaned over and turned the lights on before grabbing it from where it lay next to his bed. "Bridger."
"I'm sorry to wake you, Captain," Jonathan Ford's disembodied voice said over the PAL, "but there's a distress call coming from a submarine about half an hour south of here. They say that they've been attacked by another sub."
Bridger rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Lay in a course and proceed, Commander, I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Aye, sir. Out"
Bridger put the PAL down and got out of bed and pulled on his jumpsuit before leaving for the bridge.
* * *
"Status," Bridger called out as he entered the bridge.
The ship's XO, Commander Ford, turned and walked over to him. "We're on course toward the coordinates given by the distress call. ETA, twenty minutes."
"Good. Mr. O'Neill?"
Tim O'Neill turned around at his station. "Distress call originated from a ship called the Pandora, registered out of Vanuatu in Macronesia. Aggressor unknown, fired with no warning or provocation. The Pandora has sustained heavy damage and doesn't know how much longer she can last."
"All right. Commander, when we get closer I want battle stations manned."
"Aye, sir."
"Mr. Ortiz."
"Sir?"
"I want to know about this sub the minute you can identify her."
"Aye, sir."
Bridger sat down in his chair. This could be a long night, he thought to himself.
* * *
Kristin Westphalen had just stepped out of the shower when the alarm went off signaling everyone to battle stations. She hurriedly pulled on some clothes and grabbed her PAL before leaving for the bridge. About half way there, she heard the announcement to brace for the collision from an incoming torpedo. Moments later the entire ship rocked back and forth. Kristin managed to keep her footing and almost instantly heard her name over the intercom.
"Doctor Westphalen to the bridge immediately. Doctor Westphalen to the bridge."
Kristin took off in a run for the bridge. When she entered, the first thing to catch her eye was Ford and Hitchcock leaning over a prone body laying on the floor. As she neared, Kristin's heart dropped at who the body on the floor was -- Bridger.
"What the hell happened?" she demanded, leaning down to check the vitals.
"I want a firing solution on that sub now!" Ford yelled. "Captain Bridger was standing by the navigation table and when the torpedo hit he was thrown back. I think his head hit the chair knocking him unconscious."
"He's still breathing but I need to get him to Medbay now," Kristin said.
"Torpedoes are loaded and ready, Commander," Phillips called out.
"I have a firing solution," Ortiz said, "but he just fired two more torpedoes, Commander."
"Launch countermeasures."
Hitchcock rushed over to her station. "Countermeasures launched."
Ford turned back to Westphalen and Bridger for a moment. "Krieg, get the Captain to Medbay."
"Aye, sir," Krieg said picking up Bridger's prone body and rushing off the bridge with Westphalen following.
"First torpedo homing in on countermeasures," Ortiz said. "Second torpedo has the countermeasures ... and lost them. It's heading in, Commander."
"Brace for collision," Ford replied, and the ship again rocked as the torpedo hit. "Fire."
"We have two direct hits on the other submarine, sir. She's going down," Ortiz said after righting himself.
"Chief Crocker, take a security detail and get a launch to each of the subs to pick up any survivors."
"Aye, sir," Crocker said leaving the bridge. "Security teams alpha and bravo to launch bay ..."
Ford turned to Hitchcock next. "Damage report, Commander."
Hitchcock punched a few buttons and checked her screen. "We're taking on water, E-deck."
"Lock it off."
"Already done."
* * *
Nathan Bridger opened his eyes to see a teenager staring down at him.
"Doctor!" the boy yelled. "Doctor! He's awake!"
Nathan saw a pretty redhead in a white lab coat enter his view. "Nathan, how do you feel?"
"Confused, and my head is throbbing. Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course," she replied trying to hide the concerned look that crossed her face.
"Who and where am I?"
The redhead and the boy exchanged a worried look before the boy replied. "You're Captain Nathan Bridger, head of the seaQuest, which is where you are right now, in Medbay."
"Do I know both of you?"
"I'm Lucas, and this is Doctor Kristin Westphalen."
Just then a third person entered Nathan's view, a young black man in a black jumpsuit. "How is he, Doctor?"
Kristin gave him a look and then turned back to Nathan. "I'm going to get you something for the pain in your head. I'll be right back."
She walked to the other side of the room and Ford followed her. "I take it he's not good," Ford said.
"No, he has a concussion that needs to be watched closely, and I think he may have amnesia as well. Full or partial I can't tell without a CAT scan, but with his reaction to things, it seems most definitely like amnesia."
"Any idea what the chances of full recovery are?"
"It's too early to tell. Again, I won't hazard a guess without a CAT scan."
"Well unless you can do one down here, it's going to have to wait a while."
"Why?"
"One of the subs disappeared on us. Details are still sketchy, but it seems the Pandora wasn't actually being attacked, but rather it was all a setup. UEO ordered us to remain in the area until the Pandora is found."
"Wonderful. Well than I suggest you get back to the bridge and find that sub, Commander, I don't know how many more injured captains I can handle today."
"You'll let me know if his condition improves any."
"Of course." Ford turned and left as Westphalen took the pills back to Bridger in bed. "Here, these should help with the headache." She helped him sit up in bed.
"Thank you," Bridger replied after taking the pills. "Lucas has been giving me a brief overview of my life, but nothing is ringing a bell."
"Don't try to force anything," Kristin said, "eventually things should come back to you." He nodded uncertainly. "Right now, I have to go check on some other people who were injured."
"Don't worry, Doc," Lucas said, "I'll watch the captain."
"Thanks, Lucas." She turned back to Bridger, "I'll check back with you later."
Bridger nodded, "I'll be waiting." Kristin smiled and left the room. "She's pretty," he said absently.
"Yeah," Lucas agreed, "she is."
"Is there something between us?"
Lucas was taken aback by the question. "Not as far as I know," he finally managed to say.
"Too bad."
* * *
Kristin exited surgery and threw her scrubs in the nearest garbage. She ran her hands through her hair, pulling back any loose strands. Kristin knew without looking in a mirror that she looked as tired as she felt. Five hours of surgery will do that to you, she thought wryly as she finished the chart for the surgery she had just done. Kristin also knew she needed a shower and some sleep, but she had to check in on Nathan first. Grabbing a cup of coffee from her office, she quietly entered the room Nathan was in.
Lucas was asleep in a chair in the corner. According to the nurse, he had been true to his word and had not left the room for more than five minutes all afternoon. In bed, Nathan was reading a book and looked up as she entered.
"How long has he been asleep?" Kristin asked motioning toward Lucas.
"A little less than an hour. He was so worried that I had to fake going to sleep to get him to sleep."
"Typical Lucas," Kristin said. "How are you doing?"
"The head's better, but the memory's still no good."
She nodded. "It may take a few days. Amnesia usually isn't cured instantly like in the movies."
"I'm beginning to realize that." He looked at her, "You don't look too good, are you OK?"
Kristin almost burst out laughing. "I just spent the last five hours in surgery repairing someone's chest. I usually look pretty bad when I get out."
"I wouldn't say that, just a bit tired, that's all. You look as though you should be in this bed, not me," he smiled.
"Don't tempt me, I might take you up on the offer."
"Yeah, well, it's getting pretty boring in here by myself. I don't suppose you'd let me out for even a little while."
"Maybe tomorrow. I want to be sure that you're fine physically. I'll give you a once over in the morning and if there's nothing wrong, than you'll be free to return to your cabin."
"What about him?" Nathan pointed to Lucas.
"Oh, he can use the rest. I think I'll just let him sleep there for now. If you'll excuse me, I need a shower and we both need some sleep."
"You'll come by in the morning and let me out of here?"
Kristin nodded and assured him she would stop by the next morning. She grabbed a sandwich from the galley and returned to her cabin.
As she stepped out of the shower, Kristin heard a knock on the door. Pulling on a robe, she opened it to see Katie Hitchcock standing there.
"Hi, I was just passing by and thought you might want to talk," Katie said nervously.
Kristin stepped back to let Katie in. "Did Lucas put you up to this?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"No reason. Is something bothering you?"
"No, nothing, I just thought maybe after what happened with Captain Bridger this morning, you might need someone to talk to." Kristin just stared back at her. "Jonathan said you looked pretty shaken up earlier and I know the captain is a close friend."
"Well I'm grateful for the concern, but I'm fine, really."
"You don't look fine."
Kristin sighed. "I just spent five hours sewing together someone's chest. I wouldn't be surprised if I look like I was hit by a Mack truck."
"It's more than that, but I can't put my finger on exactly what. Maybe it's just me and the fact that my captain's in Medbay at the moment."
Kristin gave her a hug. "It's hard on all of us, but I think Lucas is taking this the hardest. Why don't you stop by and see Nathan tomorrow. I think seeing some familiar faces might help his memory."
"I'll do that. Are you sure you're OK?"
"I will be as soon as I get some sleep."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize."
"That's OK."
"I should go anyway, I have to relieve Jonathan in a little bit. You're sure you'll be all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
* * *
Nathan Bridger woke up the next morning to the now familiar sight of Lucas sitting in the chair in the corner.
"You're awake. Want some breakfast?" Lucas asked.
Nathan yawned and nodded. "Got any steak and eggs on this tub?"
"No, but I can have the cook bring some down here, it'll only take a few minutes."
"You'll do no such thing." Lucas turned to see Kristin standing in the doorway. "Those things'll give you a heart attack."
"Might not be such a bad idea. If I die than I can definitely get out of here."
"Very funny. I told you, if you pass a physical, than you can leave. Not before."
"Great, when can you start?"
"Lucas, remind me to lock him in here next time I need to do a physical," Kristin said.
"But that's not playing fair," Nathan objected.
"Sure it is," Kristin said putting the tray of food down by him. "I can pull medical rank on you any time I feel your health may be in danger."
"And if my life isn't in danger?"
She shrugged. "Details."
"Are you always this stubborn?"
"Usually."
"What else should I know about you?"
She shrugged noncommittally. "I thought you wanted to get out of here."
"I do."
"Than eat your breakfast so we can get to your physical."
Nathan began shoving food in his mouth until it wouldn't fit any more. Kristin just shook her head and turned to leave.
* * *
An hour later, pronounced physically fine with the exception of the lump on the back of his head, Nathan moved back into his cabin with the help of Lucas. Entering, he looked around at his things. "What's that?" he pointed to the table in the center of the room.
"That's a hologram. It's here to act as a sounding board when you need someone to bounce ideas off of, or to give you background information."
"Oh," Nathan wandered over to his desk and picked up a picture. "Who's this?"
"That's your wife, Carol," Lucas said coming over.
"I'm married?"
"You were."
"So I'm divorced?"
"No, she died about six years ago. After that and the loss of your son a year earlier, you retired and disappeared to a remote island in the Caribbean."
"Oh. So than how did I get back here?"
"A little over a year ago, seaQuest was given to the UEO by NORPAC and put in dry-dock for refit. When it was finished, Admiral Noyce lured you here and managed to get you to take command of the ship."
"And I've known Noyce for a long time?"
"For almost as long as you've been in the Navy."
Nathan nodded. "So Carol is the reason Doctor Westphalen and I are just friends."
"Like I said before, I don't know about your relationship with her, but I guess that could be the reason."
Nathan nodded again.
* * *
"Yes?" Kristin asked as someone came up next to her.
"Whatcha working on?"
Kristin looked up to see Nathan standing there looking down at the slide on the microscope. "Oh, Nathan, I didn't know it was you. This is a new form of algae we found a few days ago. We're testing it to see if there are any practical uses for it."
"Sounds kind of dull."
"There are more exciting things to do around here, but someone has to do this."
"And you're this self-appointed force?"
"It keeps me busy and keeps my mind off other things."
"Things like me?"
She smiled sheepishly, "I'm a doctor, it's hard for me to see anyone injured." He looked slightly hurt. "And it's particularly difficult when it's a good friend."
"So that's what we are -- friends?"
Kristin looked nervous under his gaze. "I think that would be the best way to term our relationship."
"Well than, would you care to have dinner with a friend tonight?"
She looked skeptically at him and nodded.
* * *
Later that evening Kristin knocked on Nathan's door. At the muffled "Come in," she entered the room to find Nathan standing by a table set for two. Seeing him in jeans and a sweatshirt, Kristin was glad she had opted for just a sweater and jeans.
"Sorry I don't look more presentable," Nathan apologized as she closed the door, "but I don't have much in my closet that isn't black or tan."
Kristin laughed. "That's perfectly all right, I didn't feel much like dressing up tonight anyway."
He looked momentarily crestfallen, but recovered quickly. "Well you look wonderful as is."
Kristin frowned as he turned to pull two chairs over to the table. No, she upbraided herself, this is still Nathan, your friend. Don't let anything happen that both of you may regret.
Dinner passed quickly as they talked about his past in an effort to jog his memory. Kristin noticed a mischievous smile on his face as she finished her last bite. She watched as he turned on music and then came over to her side.
"Would you care to dance?" he asked holding out a hand to her.
Kristin pushed her chair back and turned toward the door, tears welling up in her eyes. Nathan grabbed her arm, spinning her around before she could open the door. Kristin looked down at his hand, still around her arm, and then up to his face, which held a slightly horrified look.
"Nathan, don't do this." He dropped her arm and crossed over to the other side of the room to stare out the window. "Oh, Nathan, don't think I wouldn't want this to happen under different circumstances."
"Meaning what?" he snapped and immediately regretted it.
Kristin bit her lip in an effort to stay calm. "Meaning ... when I look at you I see Nathan Bridger, but underneath that is someone I don't know, someone different than the man I know ..." her voice faded so it was barely audible, "... and love."
Nathan stared at her, unsure he had heard the last word correctly. "Excuse me."
"Oh bloody hell, yes, I love you Nathan Bridger, but I've sat back and kept my distance because ... because I was scared."
"Of what, me?"
"You, me, the UEO, everything." She paused with a sigh. "I've been hurt by love too many times in the past, so I'm a little wary of relationships now."
"So you wrote it off as wrong because of UEO regulations."
She nodded as the tears began to flow. Nathan stepped forward to envelope her in his arms. Although she wanted to stay like that indefinitely, Kristin knew she couldn't, and pushed away from him, collapsing into the chair she had vacated earlier.
"Nathan, I can't do this."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not sitting here talking to the same Nathan Bridger that I've spent the last few months getting to know. It's ... it's like your face is on someone else's body and mind."
"And how do you know the other me doesn't feel the same way about you?"
"I don't, that's the problem." Kristin looked him straight in the eyes. "I don't want to do anything that one or both of us may regret, something that might kill our friendship."
"And what if I never remember my life before yesterday? There is a chance I could never regain any of it."
"Nathan, the odds are a thousand to one in favor of regaining full memory."
"That's what the one keeps saying."
"Nathan," she shot him a look.
"You have to be open to the possibility."
"It's only been two days, there's no guarantee either way."
"Exactly. Listen, Kristin, all I'm saying is that you need to acknowledge the fact that you may be stuck with this Nathan Bridger and never get the other one back. And I don't know about the other one, but this one has fallen in love with you." She looked up and held his gaze for a minute. "Kristin, I'm not saying this in an effort to get you into bed," she smiled at the thought, "but instead, I want you to be open to the possible."
Kristin looked at him for another minute before speaking. "Thank you, Nathan, for understanding."
"Hey, what are friends for?"
* * *
Tim O'Neill creased his brow in concentration. "Commander, I think I have something."
"What is it?" Ford asked coming over to O'Neill's station.
"Listen," O'Neill said handing Ford his headset. Ford put it on and listened.
"Baby Bear to Papa Bear, the trap is set and we are tucked in bed. Awaiting further instructions. Baby Bear out."
"What is that Mr. O'Neill?"
"I don't know for sure, Commander, but the frequency and pitch are almost identical to those of the distress call we received from the Pandora earlier."
"Can you get a fix on it?" Ford asked, his face lighting up.
"It was pretty weak and short, but I think I've zeroed in on the source."
"Helm, prepare for incoming course change."
"Aye, sir, incoming course change."
"Send the coordinates to navigation, Mr. O'Neill," Ford said as he literally ran down to the navigation table. Looking at the coordinates, he quickly plotted an intercept course. "Helm, come around to three one four, speed, thirteen knots."
"Aye, sir, coming around to three one four at thirteen knots."
"Commander," Ford looked up to see Hitchcock standing next to him, "do you think we should inform Captain Bridger? He is the ranking officer on board."
"Inform Captain Bridger of what?" Ford and Hitchcock spun around to see Bridger standing behind them, wearing his jumpsuit and looking ready for duty.
"Uh, sir," Ford finally spit out, "did Doctor Westphalen give you the OK to return to duty?"
"Physically, yes. Now, what's our status?"
Ford looked at Hitchcock, who just shrugged. "Bearing three one four, speed, thirteen knots. Sir, are you sure you're feeling up to this?"
"Are you trying to drum me off my own bridge, Commander?"
"No, sir, I just want to be sure that you have all your faculties."
Just then, Lucas came running onto the bridge, interrupting them. "Captain, there you are," Lucas paused, trying to catch his breath, "I've been looking all over for you."
"What's the matter, Lucas?" Bridger asked, slightly bothered by the interruption.
"Nothing, Doctor Westphalen just asked me to make sure you don't get into any trouble."
"Oh, so now everyone thinks I'm incapable of taking care of myself."
"Sir," Hitchcock interjected, "I think we're all just concerned about your health and making sure things return to normal as quickly as possible."
"And you feel the best way to do that is by taking away my duties?" Bridger said, trying to control his temper.
"If to comes to that, yes," Ford said. "Captain, with all due respect, your pride and sense of duty don't amount to a hill of beans compared to the lives of the other two hundred people aboard this boat. Those lives have to be taken into consideration when making any decision, something you seem to have forgotten."
"Oh, so now I'm a threat to my crew as well?"
"I didn't say that--"
"Fine," Bridger threw his hands up in resignation. "I'll be in my quarters should you need me." He turned and stormed off the bridge, with Lucas following after him.
Ford shook his head, "Do you think I was too hard on him?"
"No," Hitchcock replied, "and if he doesn't realize that, than he doesn't belong on this bridge."
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